life sucks...

i sadly cant go to sleep. typical though. every time i cant go to sleep is cuz my mid just wont stop wondering or slow down enough to relax and fall asleep. the worst part of it all is at about midnight i start to get the munchies, usually for goldfish. most of the time i have to settle for something else like a chewy bar or like tonight, Fritos. i do nothing to burn off all the crap food i eat, but i guess in a way it comforts me. so sad :(
i think the things that gets to me the most now is i still have to use a crutch. it is sooo annoying. after all of this is done i just want to burn it all, but the moment i get rid of any of it i will most likely get hurt (Murphy's law). when it strikes it usually strikes hard. so i don't plan on giving any of it back until i use up all of my eligibility. i know it sounds selfish, but it helps my mental state. its not a pretty picture right now. everyday is a struggle whether it appears that way or not on the outside.
i know i may sound super depressed, but its all tolerable. its just how i have learned to deal with life and all of its obstacles. there are plenty of them out there and i just gotta find a way to get through any and every situation.